


Once Upon A Parker

by Ultra



Category: Leverage
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cinderella Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Cinderella Elements, Crack, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Parody, Fairy Tale Style, Gen, Multi, Princes & Princesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-16
Updated: 2011-11-16
Packaged: 2020-02-29 15:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: Once upon a time, there lived an unhappy young woman named Parkerella...





	Once Upon A Parker

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for tinylegacies as part of Leverageland on Livejournal.

Once upon a time, there lived an unhappy young woman named Parkerella. She was unhappy because nobody would let her jump off buildings or crack safes... and also because her mother was dead, but mostly because of the other two things.

Her father was Lord Archie of Boston, and he had married another woman, a widow with two daughters. Parkerella’s stepmother didn’t like her one little bit. All the fun and diamonds and money were for her own daughters, Lady Ford and Lady Sterling. Parkerella wasn’t allowed anything she wanted.

She was a poor unhappy girl, who wore rags, and slept by the fireplace in the kitchen, with only the family’s black cat, Hardison, for company. She was only allowed to eat leftover fortune cookies and dry cereal... which she had grown accustomed to, but that really wasn’t the point.

“Miaow,” said Hardison, rubbing up against her legs.

It was supposed to be comforting, and Parkerella appreciated the effort, but sometimes a woman needed more than a cat to rub up against.

Parkerella was sure that if she was allowed to dress nicely and go out in the world she could be happy, but as things looked now, she didn’t see she would ever get the chance to find out.

One day, beautiful new dresses and jewels arrived at the house. A ball was to be held at King McRory's palace, and Lady Ford and Lady Sterling were getting ready to go. Parkerella knew she couldn’t even ask to attend because the answer would be clear;

‘You, Parkerella? Go to a ball? But you are crazy and strange, and have too many household chores to do. You cannot go to such an event, you must stay home.’

“This place sucks.” She sighed to Hardison, who answered ‘Miaow’ just like always.

Suddenly, something amazing happened!

In the kitchen where Parkerella was sitting all by herself, there was a burst of light and a fairy appeared.

“Do not be alarmed, sweet Parkerella,” said the fairy. “I know of your sadness and I can make things right,” she declared, “for I am your Sophie Godmother, and you shall go to the ball!” She smiled brightly, waving her wand for effect.

“Seriously?” Parkerella balked at the odd suggestion as well as the sight of a woman in a big poofy white dress and tiara. “What are you going to do? I can’t go to a ball dressed like this,” she gestured at her rags, “and my Dad will pretty much kill me if I don’t get the housework done so...”

“Oh, come on!” Sophie Godmother huffed. “At least give it a chance!” she urged the girl, flicking her magic wand just so.

Parkerella gasped as she looked down and realised she was now wearing a stunning blue dress that she looked really hot in, and heels that actually didn’t make her fall on her ass every second step - it was a miracle.

“And of course you’ll need a coach and a footman...” continued Sophie Godmother as she looked around, “Um, well, we’ll have to just make it work” she sighed at the sight of just a large tomato and a black cat.

Another wave of the magic wand and suddenly both were transformed, into a red electric sports car and a tall black man in some seriously decent threads.

“Could be worse.” Parkerella shrugged as she glanced at the car and took serious notice of the man her cat had become - not bad at all!

She climbed into the passenger side, allowing Hardison to drive and the engine revved loudly, almost drowning out Sophie Godmother as she tried to speak.

“Wait, Parkerella!” she insisted, as she got in front of the car and thankfully was not run down, “You must leave the ball before midnight, for at the stroke of twelve the spell will be broken and all this will cease to be” she made a wide gesture to cover the car, Hardison, and Parkerella herself complete with ball-gown and Jimmy Choos.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” The blonde waved away all concerns. “Let’s just go already.”

When Parkerella entered the ballroom at the palace, a hush fell. Everyone stopped in mid-sentence to admire her elegance, her beauty, and her grace. 

“Who could she be?” people asked each other.

Lady Ford and Lady Sterling also wondered who the newcomer was, for never in a month of Sundays would they ever have guessed that the beautiful girl was really poor crazy Parkerella who talked to the cat! 

When Prince Eliot of Spencer set eyes on Parkerella, he was struck by her beauty... and her crazy ass dance moves that amused him. Walking over to her, he smiled and said;

“Hey, babe. Come dance with me.”

To the great disappointment of all the ladies (and a few of the men too!) he danced with Parkerella all evening, never even looking at anybody else.

“So, darlin’, what’s your name?” Prince Eliot asked her.

“Like it matters,” Parkerella replied. “It’s not like I’m gonna sleep with you,” she declared. “Well, at least, not tonight.” She winked.

Parkerella had a wonderful time at the ball, but all of a sudden she heard the sound of a clock: the first stroke of midnight! She remembered what Sophie Godmother had said, and without a word of goodbye she slipped from Prince Eliot’s arms and ran down the steps. As she ran she lost one of her Jimmy Choos, but she did not dream of stopping to pick it up! If the last stroke of midnight were to sound, her cover would be blown, and that would seriously suck!

Prince Eliot, who was now madly in love with Parkerella, picked up her fancy shoe and said to his men; 

“Move your asses! Go find the chick that left this shoe behind, or I’m gonna be pissed!”

The men ran quickly to do as the Prince asked for fear he would beat them into next Thursday if they didn’t. Sure, he was hot as hell when he growled like that, but none of them wanted to die and it could totally happen if they disobeyed him.

So, Parkerella was found and the Jimmy Choo fitted perfectly on her foot. Her stepmother couldn’t believe it and insisted that Prince Eliot should marry Lady Ford or Lady Sterling, and not poor crazy Parkerella.

All of a sudden, Sophie Godmother reappeared in a flash of sparkling silver light - she looked kinda dizzy from the landing.

“Bloody hell, that never gets any easier,” she grumbled to herself as she straightened her tiara and dress, before turning her attention to dear Parkerella’s horrible stepmother. “Now listen here, you... you old cow!” she said angrily. “Your daughters are so bloody ugly for girls, they’d do better as blokes,” she declared, “and as for Parkerella, she is the one the Prince desires,” she insisted.

With a wave of Sophie Godmother’s wand, Parkerella was transformed from her rags, back into the ball-gown and everything she’d been wearing last night. The cat got caught in the blast of magic and suddenly Hardison was a man again too. Couldn’t’ve worked out any better really. Except that Prince Eliot showed up right then, ruining Hardison’s plans to intervene and make Parkerella his instead.

“Seriously, mama?” he said with a frown. “You wanna get with Prince Eliot? Y’know with the girly hair and the angry ‘tude?”

Prince Eliot glared, advancing past Parkerella, presumably to smack Hardison in the face, until the blonde herself intervened.

“Hey, I’ve waited a long time for a guy to notice me, and to get out of this stupid house,” she told them both, a hand on each of their chests keeping them apart. “You’re both totally hot and right now so am I,” she said with a grin as she glanced down at her own fine figure in a very fine dress. “So... we can make this work, right?” she offered, an eyebrow raised, and neither guy failed to get her point.

Sophie Godmother opened her mouth to argue as Parkerella strolled away with an arm around each of her men, but then thought better of it.

“If that’s what makes her happy, who am I to argue.” She chuckled, as she whipped up her magic and faded away. “Here’s hoping they all live happily ever after.”

And do you know what? I think they did.


End file.
